Emotional attunement — and the quiet cost of forgetting ourselves Many women grow up learning something very early: That being loved often means being  attentive . That being safe often means being  aware . That harmony is something we are quietly expected to maintain. So we listen closely. We notice shifts in tone. We sense tension before words appear. And without realizing it, we begin to carry something that was never meant to be ours alone. This doesn’t come from weakness